I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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