Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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