Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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