just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
