Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
