How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
