What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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