Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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