he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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