i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
