Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
