I will die if light touches me.
oh god the rape fog is back!
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
