Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
