my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
