a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
