garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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