He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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