You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
