I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
