in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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