We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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