I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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