Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
