I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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