that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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