what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
