We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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