Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
