I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm always down for nudity.
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