I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
