$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
