He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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