if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
