Acid is not a monday night drug
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
