"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
