Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
