I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
