My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
