Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
