hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
