I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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