dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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