best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
