Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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