Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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