the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
