people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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