Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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