And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
