he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
